Happy Australia Day everyone. Hope you all had a great day, chilling out and having a good time - and let's not forget the lamb chops!!!
I had an awesome day today - relaxing before another school year begins tomorrow by doing some scrapping, watching some tennis and Oprah, and a little bit of washing and just 'chillaxing' as the kids at school say.
I challenged myself scrap wise today in two different ways - first challenge was to use a transparency as the BASE of my LO instead of sticking it over the top. Here is what I came up with using one from Hambly Screen Prints:
I never realised how hard it would be to photograph the completed layout so the transparency is obvious. In the end, I put the layout against the window - as you might be able to tell by all the dirty marks and the blurred background of my clothesline and back yard.
My second challenge was to scrap about myself. Well it wasn't really a challenge but more of a light-bulb moment when I was watching Oprah today. It was an old ep from Jan '09 where she was looking at herself and her weight-gain etc and coming to the realisation it wasn't about what she does or doesn't eat etc but more about how she feels about herself. So this is where this LO came from - not so much about self-pity or wanting pity from others but coming to a realisation that it is ok to struggle and admit to needing help - trust me, it took me a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time to realise this.
Journalling reads: 'It's true - sometimes I do. Some days getting out of bed seems to be too much to handle, let alone thinking about work, Tony, the boys, cooking and cleaning. However, I rarely admit this; I rarely tell people how I am really feeling. Why? Because I am scared to? Yes. Because I am afraid to? Definitely. But mainly because I am embarrassed to. Yes embarrassed!! And even more than this, I am ashamed to. Ashamed?? Totally. I mean I am a 32 year old married mother of two and I have a successful and rewarding job so what am I ashamed? I am ashamed because I feel that I should be able to cope - everyone else does, so, why can't I? Am I lazy? Don't I care? Nature has programed us to cope - first we are born, then we grow up and by the time we are adults, we have learnt all the skills that allow us to cope with life. Yet sometimes it is all just too much, too overwhelming. I don't know where to start or what to do and feel utterly useless. So I leave things as they are, I let them pile up and pretend to ignore it all, hoping it was magically disappear until I have worked myself into a deep, dark hole that I can't find a way out of. But do you know what I have discovered? I have discovered that it is okay to ask for help, it is okay to admit that I can't control absolutely everything. The best part about this discovery is that my world has not ended, no-one thinks any less of me and I am learning who I am is more important than what I do.
Very different layout for me - I rarely scrap about myself so directly or personally. But come to think of it, this is the third LO I have done this year where I have been quite focused on myself - maybe this is a new side of scrapping I am discovering in 2010.
Anyway, I guess I should think about getting a semi-early night. Lachlan, our baby starts school tomorrow (sniffle sniffle), Mitchell is in Yr 2 and I welcome 4 new classes of students and all my 'kids' (now big Year Niners) back.
S xoxoxo
1 comment:
thanks for sharing your thoughts. We are very similar - I sometimes feel that way, actually did for much of last year - with a two year old and one year old at home, it was so difficult. It's taboo for mothers to ever admit to feeling overwhelming. I'd really like to start doing some LO's that focus on me.
Hope school's going well for you and the boys. I hear tomorrow if I was successful getting my first job since I left teaching two and a half years ago to have my daughter. (It's only one hour tutoring one evening a week).
Debbie xox
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